Felt like “Mr. Mom,” yesterday! The wives wanted to go shopping together. Only concern is how much they can spend, in staccato bursts, on clothes! I love them in these clothes, but even in Bulgaria, shoes, dresses and yoga pants ain’t free!
Christine whispered to me, “Tereza is really needing a few hours without kids, the divorce is almost final, she feels some guilt, can you watch BOTH kids?” I love spending time with her 4 year old boy! We do guy things. Running, chess, war talk, football, baseball and most importantly, discussing telescopes, physics, pretty girls and science matters. Hanging out with a 1 year old girl, that has just begun to walk, and is constantly spewing something out of her body, not my forte. But, Tereza is pregnant with my child. She has been a wonderful second wife, and so I said, “yes.”
The second the girls left the condo, the baby began to cry. She looked at me, like I was some monster from a Twilight Zone episode. The little boy, tried to pick up his sister to quiet her, and nearly dropped her. Good thing kids have flexible necks! Commander Asshole was contemplating putting the kid in her playpen, making damn sure she couldn’t get out, and just going out and throwing the American Football, with the boy!
But, I still have this vestigial sense of Honor, and decided I could somehow figure out how the fucking pram worked, and go walk this kid for six miles, and eventually hang out in a really nice park, where all the hot Bulgarian moms hung out in the early morning! No ulterior motives at all! Last time I was there, Tereza was holding her little girl, I was holding Tereza’s hand, and at least 3 gorgeous Bulgarian moms came over to tell us we were a nice couple with cute kids! Babies, are better chick magnets than puppies!
We walked along the path, slowly, as the little girl fell asleep. Not a huge fan of infants, but I like them when sleeping the best! I tried to remember all the absurd directions Tereza had given me about feeding (she pumps milk still!), but the truth is I never listen much to what women say. Secret to my long marriage! Not going to lie, I just don’t really care! Figured if the little girl practiced some intermittent fasting for 3 hours, she would be fine! When I first began to really work long hours in my marriage to Christine, I would get home, she would kindly ask me about my day. First few months I would tell her all about it, until I realized she absolutely could care less! Building products does not make a woman desire you, the paycheck does! I am OK with these complementary biological imperatives!
“Uncle AC, I want to go to the beach. Walking is boring!” Her son’s English has improved so dramatically since March! Christine spends a lot of time with him too, they read English school books. Christine will not admit it, but she always wanted a son too. Kids books have pushed out all of our Classics, most of which we left behind in America anyway. Younger male readers, children will subsume your entire life. No real way around it, if you are selfish, children will drive you insane. I’m not selfish. I love, living through their little eyes!
We get to the park, the little girl wakes up, as if on queue! First time I was here with her a few months back, she could only stand, but not walk! Now, I just let her “run” towards all the fun things, and other kids. Little boy brought his portable chess kit with him (he now has two really nice sets, and one cheap one we keep losing pieces from!). “Uncle AC, can we play a few games?” “Sure, but I need you to keep an eye on your baby sister, along with me, OK?” “Yes Sir.” Just, as my Father expected to be addressed. When he is 14, he will go to Military School. An academically, and physically rigorous one, in South Carolina. I’ve already told him about it, we looked at pics. “Is it hard?” “Yes, because you are strong and smart, and good men like a challenge.”
I kept a close eye on the little girl, who can really motor! A very cute, black haired beauty with about a 2 year old son was close to us. She smiled. I smiled. The little boy smiled. “Uncle AC, is she pretty?” “Shhhh! Yes! Very!” Hey, lessons need to be taught. The Mom got up, walked away. I watched. “Uncle AC, how old will I be when I get married?” “Depends on many things, but if a girl that pretty wants to marry you at 17, say yes!”
“Uncle AC, remember that day on Golden Sands beach when Aunt Christine got really mad at the naked lady talking to you?” “I do buddy, women sometimes fight over men. You should feel glad when they do.” He was recalling a VERY (wow!) nude, younger woman who had set up near us, in a section that is normally just topless. That day, Christine was cranky! I wasn’t! I got yelled at!
We were just beginning our third game, but I decided to go play with the little girl, get her used to hanging on to bars, push her on the swing. Dad stuff! He left his chess set on the bench, ran over with me. Although he barely fit in the young kids swing, he slithered in, and I was pushing him with my right hand, her with my left. Temps are perfect right now, some clouds, but perfect climate. Both kids were happy. I was happy. Missed Tereza.
Saw a tiny, but very pretty Mom, a few swingsets down, trying to lift her daughter in to the swing. She had gray eyes! Wow. All made up for the park too. Stunning! Chivalrous (sexually aroused!) to the end, I offered to help her lift the girl, in horrible Bulgarian! “Moga li da vi pomogna s neya?” She smiled, looked at me, decided I was both dangerous and harmless, and in perfect English told me, “Your Bulgarian needs some work! But, yes, please help me, they grow so fast! Thank you!”
She had set up a few swings away, ever the opportunist, I put her daughter right next to my adopted daughter (not yet legal, but it will be soon! Our lawyers are working hard!). She saw what I had done, gave me the universal, “you naughty pig” look. But, smiling. “I thought we might chat. It’s my day to watch both kids, my wives are out shopping! Normally I just watch the older boy.” “How many wives?” “Just two.” “I am not even going to ask! Hi, my name is Maria.” The little boy jumped out of the swing, started telling Maria all about goats, telescopes and chess! He shifted between Bulgarian (much stronger for him), English, and threw in some Czech phrases, and German! Little show off.
“Your little boy is adorable! My husband wants a son, but as you know, we can’t control that!” I would guess she was 25 or so. Those eyes! “Great to have them young, my 2nd wife is 27, and about 4 months pregnant again. We hope for a boy, but I take what we are given!” “You love children, don’t you?” “Yes, and I love watching good mothers with those children. I feel like I have no idea what I am doing, especially with the little girl. My wife gave me all these orders for feeding, but I honestly have no clue!” “Do you have the bottles with you?” “Yes, in this bag.” She patiently checked the temps of each bottle, read the labels, when it was pumped, and said, “let me give you a lesson.” She lifted the little girl out of the swing, sat down on the bench, told me to push her daughter too, and fed our little girl a bottle. Confidently. Peacefully! Effortlessly. Took 5 minutes. She came back, plopped a now smiling little angel in the swing. “See, not so tough!”
“Where in America are you from?” “All over, most recently Nevada, The Desert.” “Scorpions! Yuck!” “Plenty of them stung me, fascinating creatures though. Ancient. Primordial.” We swung the kids for almost 20 minutes. The little boy kept asking me to push him over the bar! Just like I used to ask my Father! I think once, he did!
Maria looked at her watch. “I have to get home! Where in Varna do you stay?” Mentioned the building, she said she walks by it often, and said if I am ever playing Mom, to call her for a walk. “My husband is an engineer, construction engineer. He is always working. So, I walk a lot!” Exchanged digits. She texted me about 15 minutes later, “your wives are very lucky. May I see pictures of them?” “So is your husband.” She hearted that one. Sent her pics of the two girls together, in a Church. “Wow, I can tell your 1st wife was beautiful! How long have you been married?” “35 years! Only recently, she wanted more children, so she allowed another woman in to our life. It is odd, I understand. But, we are all really happy. We call them, sister wives!” Took an hour for her to respond. “That is odd, not sure I could allow that. My husband would love it though! But I really wish I had a sister wife! My mother is in Plovdiv, it is great when she visits.” “We will have you over for dinner one night, with your Husband. Our plan was simply to have more European children. The world needs more. Agree?” “hahahaha, I guess. You are not young, don’t your wives wear you out?” “Never happens, I want 2 more!” That got a throbbing heart.
Recruitment never ends on the Black Sea. “Uncle AC, when is Mom going to be home? Can you take me to the goat farm?” “Sure buddy, what would you rather have, your own farm, or more Moms?” “Both!” We purchased some land. Pretty land. Surveyors and architects are hired. We are going to build a farm. One year project.
The Mormon faith is the only form of Christianity that is growing. No idea if certain Mormon sects still practice polygamy, but it was a brilliant idea. I want four wives. Might not all be able to fit in one bed like we do now, but I welcome a rotation! Keeps me interested, keeps the kids coming! Maria. Yummy! Hana. Double yummy! Likely not Irina, my new power-lifting, dykish looking, cock craving, workout partner, and another new notch for me. She does not seem the matronly sort, and I had to work very hard to wrap my hands around her forearms & biceps, and pin her arms to the damn bed! Her lats looked kinda sexy and striated as she fought being completely subdued. Bet a man hasn’t pinned her like that, in a long time. I did eventually, but that was more of a workout than with thin Christine! Christine and Irina really like each other, Tereza is butt hurt! But, that will sort itself out. Irina is going home in 3 weeks anyway. Christine told me, “just a fling, but if she gets knocked up, would be a healthy kid! Damn she is strong, took both of us to pin her down!” Christine is a man’s soul, locked in a hot Swede’s body!
Dimitar, (former workout partner) is giving me a ration ‘o shit over Irina. “AC, that one is a bitch. I thought she only liked girls? I really hate her!” “Oh, she really likes dick! Not as loud as Tereza, but close!” “You fucking asshole American, you come here and take all of our wimmins!” He was cracking up. “You should stop taking the juice Dimmy, (steroids), I bet your dick is smaller than my big toe!” “Maybe, but women are headaches for me anyway. And, I stick to the ugly ones, they are more loyal.” Yeah, I like the pretty ones. Many of whom are unaccustomed to a man not caring how pretty they are, and putting their kid in the swing right next to me!
Just back from petting goats. Girls are home! They had NO BAGS! Bought nothing. Tereza tells me they are saving my credit card for Prague shopping. Ouch. Divorce going well, might only be another month! Czech Republic has better divorce laws than the US or Australia, faster process too. Looks like they do a lot of divorcing in Czechoslovakia too! Was in Latvia in January (bad month, Baltic Sea, brrr!) and was floored by the beautiful Latvian wives I saw, with fat German and British husbands! No wonder they lead in divorce! And the Latvian married ladies I spoke to, all mentioned their husbands drinking too much! Figure if I have four wives, if one goes wonky, still have enough left! I am getting a bit pragmatic, in the last few decades of life!
Hail Victory! Hail children! Hail female beauty! Hail, not taking women, too seriously! That Maria girl is on both of my brains. Christine will read this, but not Tereza! I love you Christine! I am sticking to the fertile ones! Your rules! :-)
Living the dream! No doubt losing subscribers due to jealousy. Heil!
Dude