Acceptance

The Dirtiest Word in the English Language

My future son-in-law was clearly uncomfortable in an Eastern Orthodox Church. And, honestly, despite having spent a few months visiting them in Germany, Latvia, Romania and Bulgaria, I too still find aspects of “Faith” so impenetrable. It was nice to be there with my wife and our daughter, as we say goodbye to them tomorrow morning.

Humans find things confusing, the variables and permutations of them are complex on the toughest and sharpest of minds. As the Presbyter turned his back on us, I looked up. I saw, a human roof. I wonder what others see?

The girls went to lunch afterwards, and the future son-in-law went for a walk. I read T.S. Eliot poems for about 10 minutes, decided to get my hair cut. I keep my hair in tight, Fascist/Marine style. As did my Father, and my paternal Grandfather. Perhaps we think we look better that way, but if I am being honest, it makes me look meaner. Some guys you know not to fuck with, and these days, precious few White Men look imposing.

Had my Amazon purchased, electronic translator with me, smiled and laughed with the host hottie who spoke only Bulgarian. I was the only man in the place, and this was the only haircut place I found open on a Sunday. Girl asked me if I had been in before, and did I have someone who normally cuts my hair. I typed in to the translator, “we are visiting from Varna, I just need a trim, I will wait for the prettiest girl in the salon!” Handed it to her, she was cute. Naughtiest smile. She spoke in to the stupid device, in Bulgarian. “I’m the prettiest girl here, but I do not cut hair!” Whamen. I got a matronly woman, who I asked if she could give me a “Viking Haircut.” I wanted to say Fascist, but we are not exactly in the majority in resort towns.

She did a nice job. Chatting to me on occasion, but I kept the translator on her work area. I just had no interest in what she was saying.

Had a great Saturday night dinner, in a super busy, mostly seafood restaurant. Drank white wine, a rarity for me. Some great bottles from Greece. Varna has thousands of years of history, do not know much of anything about Burgas. So much noise, people were happy, many “nazdrave” cheers salutes. Families. Some young, and some quite old.

Metronome beating in my head. I try to keep it steady, I try to follow it. I try to find “Acceptance.” But, I am mad. Living in a jewish, black, feminine world (even if it has not fully happened here, yet) is not my way. The jew successfully got Whites to murder each other to the tune of perhaps 500M when you add in all the gulags, and suicides Communism caused in Eastern Europe. And now, as this part of the world cycles in to some “prosperity,” the vampire squids are drinking the few pints of blood left in the body of the once prosperous West, and will use that to subdue us all. And like most surprise and sneak attacks, it somehow worked. And the people it worked on, hate US, because we tell them the truth. They have long since ACCEPTED their limited roles, and compliant, supplicant Nature.

Not happy to see my Daughter go, but she needs a life different than ours. I do not see a Race Warrior in her, but many 19 year olds have turned in to grizzled and angry Whites as they age. I feel bad, but when I discuss with her and her beau, I see soldiers in the children I encourage them to have. Fear I have become a bit monomaniacal in my World View. Most people who changed the World, were that way. Alexander the Great. Charlemagne. Frederick the Great. Napoleon. Herzl. Hitler. Now, the World is changed by greasy little pigs, in the back rooms of palaces. Well, truth be known, that’s how it has always been. Acceptance.

Couple of people I respect, have been telling me my Mission, Our Mission, will kill me. Zealots all die. I smile. “So do conformists. So do those who change the world. And, it always reverts to the mean. Human Fuckery is endemic to species. Some groups, understand that better than those with High Standards.”

On a great note, MY Family, a strange assemblage of pretty girls, and an Aging Cold Warrior, is growing. My daughter Accepted, she understands, Tereza. She is purposefully NOT having a career, to become a Wife and Mother at a young age. Just as I did when my Father woke me up at 4 am to box in a cold garage, she trusts me. Even if it hurts a bit.

Had my last evening walk with my kid last night. Well, at least for a while. “Dad, I will plan the trip to Texas. Just us. I plan, you pay! Just like you like it. I just wanted to tell you, I’m very proud of you. My boyfriend was terrified to meet you. But he told me he has already learned so much from you, your experiences, your strength. I remember you told me that you were shocked when you learned your Father was mortal. He had flaws. He could die. That’s how I feel about you. I love you. Mom and I admire you. Thank you for the great head start you gave me. Gave us.”

My Father gave me precious little overt advice on dealing with women, but he did often repeat, “Women want to be desired, men want to be admired.”

“Mission accomplished Father. Thank you, for the great head start you gave me too.”