“To be loved at first sight, a man should have at the same time something to respect and something to pity in his face.”
— Stendhal
Made love to my wife not long after we ran 8 miles, past the Varna aquarium and sea gardens. With the Black Sea not too far in the distance, as Tereza, Wife 2 watched! Running and warmth always gets Christine going!
When my Swede stares at the ceiling and begins reminiscing, I know she has been well and truly satisfied (pounded well!)! “Do you remember our first summer in Manalapan? All we did was read, and you smothered me in SPF 65, made sure I was under the umbrella, and you must have nailed me 1000 times?”
Christine has been recalling the time we fell in love, in Palm Beach, Florida. 1988? 1989? A while ago! We read and rutted. Ran 6-10 milers in the blazing afternoon heat. Half erudition, half animal. She read all of my favorite classics, falling in love with Don Quixote and Stendhal, and I read hers. Mostly Dumas, Thackeray and Stephen King. Read “It”, and “The Dark Tower.” She tried to read Proust, but gave that up every night after a few minutes, for even more sex. For a 19 year old Swedish woman, she was even prettier than most. My eyes used to fight over staring at her hair, or her face. I loved them both. Instantly.
Tereza has been sleeping a LOT! My beautiful, Czech vixen has a lot going on. Feeding her little girl, while gestating what we hope is our son, all while filing for divorce, has slowed her down. Not to mention learning live streaming White Nationalist content is work! Less yoga. Fewer hikes. Less sex for me, but, hey, I already did the job! Two months preggo?
There are the times you idly pursue pleasure, but as I was taught as a young man (perhaps by my father-in-law) “You have to work, before you can play.” A Man must prepare a bit to be a Father, and I know the drill. Building something, as a former Product Manager, I know requires a team.
“AC, I was really moved by The Red and the Black. Stendhal. I thought to myself, “do I deserve this beautiful Man, who can read the classics, fuck me like a lion, run with me in the heat, and one day protect me from this, this, this… always dangerous world.”
My love at first sight was even more incredible, I have detailed it in these musings, somewhere. I saw Christine, for the first moment, a pretty girl’s blond hair in a bun, and it looked like the sun to me. And, I knew immediately, any woman who could light up dead keratin with such beauty, was my partner for life.
Tereza, “you guys are cute together! I wish my stupid husband stared in to my blue eyes, and said romantic things. But, he is the Father of our children, and I am going to get through this with dignity. I never wanted to hurt him, I just needed, love. And now, Commander Asshole, it’s my turn!”
I thought, “that’s the spirit! I like a woman who can watch, knows what she wants, and wait her turn!” Tereza was done, fast. She whispered in to my ear, as Christine went in to the kitchen to make us all lunch (organic cabbage rolls with celery root, about the only thing she cooks well!). “I fell in love with you when we first met. I was jealous of Christine, and I liked her plan for you to get me pregnant. And, we did it. It’s all working out.” She kissed me on the cheek. Not the type of kiss a guy gets on a Tinder date. More of, “we are going to be together for life” type kiss.
Life has highs and lows, each are very, very critical to development, accomplishment, and for men with high standards.
As a soldier, I thought little of life when it needed to be taken. There was merely us, and the enemy. When I attend Church on EVERY GIVEN SUNDAY, there is reverence for life. The two beautiful women I enter and leave with, Tereza’s children, the sweet, kind Bulgarian lady (she must be approaching 90!) who loves Tereza’s one year old daughter, with a spark, akin to my first glimpse of Christine. I think of The Being that gave us this dynamic range, of who created the men who wrote novels that pierced all my defenses as a young man. I think of my Father, and how he would high five me when I brought home the beautiful girl, Tara, my first real girlfriend. Just as he did when I took a wild pitch without swinging playing baseball, he would drive Tara home, watch her open the door, and say, “Good Eye Son!” I miss my Father when I am happy. I owe him much. The rest, well, that’s mine.
“Ah, Sir, a novel is a mirror carried along a high road. At one moment it reflects to your vision the azure skies, at another the mire of the puddles at your feet. And the man who carries this mirror in his pack will be accused by you of being immoral! His mirror shews the mire, and you blame the mirror! Rather blame that high road upon which the puddle lies, still more the inspector of roads who allows the water to gather and the puddle to form.”
― Stendhal, The Red and the Black
Faithful for 34 years. Wife wanted more children. It's non standard, grant you that. But, it's not cheating, and it furthers the White Race. I'm likely more Pagan and Manichean than Christian. I go to church because I love my wife, and it's important to her. Very grateful for your feedback, so I will stop immediately. Any other life advice I will immediately adopt because you type it?
Going to church with 2 women is disgraceful. Having and Impregnating multiple wives is unChristian. your philosophy in life, it is clearly not Christian